Roses are red Violets are blue I'm the only one posting Boo Hoo
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by Duckie on Sep 09
funny
Heard any good jokes lately? Share! Only appropriate jokes please!
Daffy Spring Flower Definitions. Johnny-Jump-Up--That obnoxious kid Johnny who lives next door who always shows up uannounced, and rings your doorbell the minute you begin to take a shower. HYdrang...
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Daffy Frog Definitions Croquette--A female frog. Rib-it, rib-it--How frogs order at BBQs. Ponderer--The term used for a frog who thinks deeply. Reed--What frogs do when they go to frog public libra...
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Don't encourage the crazy lady, Smiles, or you'll get more Daffy D's. :) Daffy Definitions...for musicians... Allegro--Like what happened to Pinnochio's nose except every time you t...
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by EastWind on 02/05/11
Daffy Decoration Definitions Tinsel Gretel's other brother. Tree stand--A hand stand done by an athletic Christmas tree. Ornament--A nasty comment made by an ornery person. Stocking--Something ...
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by Smiles on 02/04/11
The Big Dipper here. In the last few years there's been a show on ABC TV called "Dancing with the Stars". I just wanted to say that as a group of stars with centuries of experience unde...
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Tom Turkey here. It's that time of year again. Millions of defenseless, helpless, innocent turkey birds will meet their inevitable violent end this thanksgiving. That's why I'm hiding o...
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by eagleswings on 11/29/10
Phrases Historical Figures Might Have Said Napoleon--"Shortly? Of course, I'm leaving for Russia shortly!" Cleopatra--"Alright, if you can't get ahold of Roto-Rooter, at least g...
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by Marsuvees on 10/27/10
Daffy Baby Definitions: For Eastwind & Hawkwing; Jemila & Sonworshiper Bassinet--An Italian fishing term for a net with which to catch Bass. Diaper--A cat who plays dice at a casino. Stroll...
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by Jemila on 10/19/10
Animals and Math--Who's Good at What Kind? Rabbits--Multiplication and addition Elephants, Manatees, Whales-Mass and Volume Alligators & Crocodiles--Subtraction Giraffes--Measuring lengths ...
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Favorite Scriptures of the Lord's Creatures (inspired by the post in Talk Story about MC-ers' favorite animals) Armadillo--"Put on the whole armor of God..." (Eph. 6: 11) Dog--"...
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by EastWind on 09/07/10
It's taken me forever to post, but allow me to introduce myself. Claude Snail's the name. My mother named me Claude because it rhymes with plod, and she said the Creator planned to use my l...
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by eagleswings on 09/04/10
Humpty Dumpty sat "crunch" on his cell phone Humpty Dumpty like E.T. tried phoning home But, neither Verizon, nor AT & T Could put his phone back together, oh woe is Humpty! Jack Sprat ...
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by free_as_a_bird on 09/05/10
While visiting the dentist yesterday, I began to think of what might be the "favorite things" of those men and women who dig around in our teeth, and help us to be free of dental caries and...
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by free_as_a_bird on 09/05/10
Garden Variety Definitions Hardy Mums--Mothers who work out at the gym pumping iron. Gladiolas--How to say: "Hello, happy to see you" in Spanish. Roses--The past tense of rises. Jackamanni-...
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by lilmama on 08/15/10
In days of olde there was an old princess. She'd been around for a very long time. There had been only one suitor who had been interested in her, but he only wanted her considerable dowry, a cr...
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by HEluvsme on 08/04/10
profound--A golfing professional who consistently retrieves his golf balls successfully. hospital--Hos' Cartwright's annoying habit of chewing tobacco and then spewing it out onto the groun...
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by lilmama on 07/28/10
Hi. A.C. Unit here. I'd like to talk with you tonite about keeping your air conditioner happy and content. Certain MC-ers seem to think they can mistreat us air conditioners by running us all d...
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by lilmama on 07/28/10
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by DannyM on 07/07/10
a man walks into a fishmonger's carrying a salmon under his arm. do you make fishcakes? he asks. of course says the fishmonger oh good says the man, its his birthday
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by free_as_a_bird on 07/08/10
EW2's Reactions to the MC Upgrade: a Chronology You want to do what???????? What if my browser won't support the new software? Don't worry, EW2. It'll be okay. I'm going to chil...
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by Jemila on 06/26/10
Wacky Business Names Dunkin' Doggies--Dog washing and grooming business. Pizza Hut Hut Hut--Pizza parlor for quarterbacks. Windy's--Burger place for people who pass gas frequently, and refu...
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by eagleswings on 06/10/10
Gourmet Glossary for Gluttons Exercise--A futile promise you make to yourself that you'll never keep. Diet--Something you'll do after you eat your fries, shake and Whopper. Motivation--Like...
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by free_as_a_bird on 05/13/10
Last Census Qs... Check one and be HONEST! Eagleswings is a lousy comedy writer and joke teller. ( ) Yes, she should be banned from the Comedy Club--she really is a no-talent. ( ) No, have a heart,...
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by eagleswings on 05/05/10
More Census Questions How many members of the House and Senate does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ( ) Republicans are still debating whether or not a lightbulb is necessary, how much it will ult...
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by Hawkwing74 on 05/04/10
Census Questions You'll Never See Have you ever falsified, defaced or refused to disclose your birth certificate? Check one: ( ) Yes ( ) No ( ) Taking the 5th For illegal aliens only: How many ...
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by EastWind on 04/30/10
The Little Ink Stain It wasn't my fault. The cat tipped my bottle over and I got so startled and scared that I ran. I didn't run far though because I was stopped by a couple of Kleenexes le...
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by eagleswings on 04/11/10
catch a unique rabbit? You neek up on 'im. How do you catch a tame rabbit? Dhe tame way. How do you shoot a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you shoot a white elephant? You choke...
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by lilmama on 07/08/10
Reverse Definitions An anesthetized rabbit--Ether Bunny An e-harmony.com blind date that went wrong.--Inundated Fun stuff you write on a friend's cast after a broken leg is set.--Overcast The s...
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by Duckie on 04/08/10
Then there was the lonely guy whose apartment was too quiet and who loved music. So he thought that if he bought a parakeet it would be great company, sing, and that would cure his loneliness. So h...
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by free_as_a_bird on 04/07/10
Another email: A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "...
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by lilmama on 07/08/10
Blonde Cookbook Diary Sunday It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. Monday ...
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by lingonberrydude on 07/18/10
Got this in my email. The idea of it was just too funny to keep to myself. Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th ann...
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by EastWind on 04/03/10
definition of seminar "Seminar is defined as a process in which 1 person spoils his sleep for days in an effort to make other sleep for a few minutes"
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by sharu1990 on 04/01/10
A blonde tells her friend about a website that she's joined. The friend asks what kind of registration information she'll have to give. The blonde tells her, "Oh, you know, your name, y...
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by free_as_a_bird on 03/15/10